Category: Poetry

House Of Mirror’s by Freya Giles (my daughter)

Hello, so I am putting this post out there and it’s a poem but not one of mine, it’s a free verse poem that my amazing daughter Freya wrote when she was THIRTEEN years old, and yes the thirteen is bold for emphasis of her age at the time of writing.

If you know me or read my website, you will be aware that I also write poetry and that I am unbelievably proud of all three of my children.

I just really wanted to share this poem after rediscovering it today after forgetting how good it was.
My children never fail to make me feel happy, proud and lucky and this here is an example of one of that instances, when I read this for the first time I was blown away, possibly just because she was only young and I shouldn’t have been as ive read some amazing writings and poetry from her before AND given she is interested in possibly perusing a career in writing (or politics, or writing about politics :-))

This is Freya reading a book in hospital about five months before writing this.
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Anyways here it is.

House Of Mirror’s
I went to a funfair once, a long time ago,
Most of the acts were boring and childish,
But one tent caught my eye…

I entered into the house of mirrors, and I never returned.

The first mirror showed me a large house,
There I saw myself with four children and a slim, posh man,
His arm was around my shoulders and his smile was true.
I submerged myself into that world and was satisfied when I left.
I regained my feel for reality and when I was sure…

I continued into the house of mirrors, and I never returned.

The second mirror showed me a messy flat,
There I saw myself scowling with a large, burly man,
His arm was touching my ass and his smile was cruel.
I submerged myself into that world and was bleeding when I left.
I regained my trust in reality and when I was sure…

I continued into the house of mirrors, and I never returned.

The third mirror showed me a secluded cottage,
There I saw myself happy with a tall, Gothic man,
His arm was around my waist and his eyes were intense.
I submerged myself into that world and was filled with longing when I left.
I regained my expectations for reality and when I was sure…

I continued into the house of mirrors, and I never returned…

The fourth mirror showed me my parents flat,
There I saw myself alone with a petite baby girl,
Her head was nuzzled into my neck and her smile was satisfied.
I submerged myself into that world and was exhausted when I left.
I regained my strength in reality and when I was sure…

I continued into the house of mirrors, and I never returned.

The fifth mirror showed me kneeling on the floor,
There I saw myself crying and shaking my head,
Her eyes looked pleadingly into mine and her shake was determined.
I submerged myself into that world and found I couldn’t leave.

I stayed in the house of mirrors, never to return.

By Freya Giles

Hope you enjoyed it as much as me 🙂

Take it easy

Alex/Muldwych

‘How dare you’ Step-Parents (poem)

I have been really busy lately with the comic book writing side of things but I did write this poem here called ‘How dare you’ Step-Parents.

I know a lot about step-parents in that I have a step-dad myself, my brother is a step-parent to his eldest daughter and my partner Sabrina who I wrote another poem for HERE is a step parent to my eldest and a damn good one at that.

There are many myths about step-parents like the ‘The Wicked Stepmother’ or ‘The Abusive Stepfather’ which just aren’t the norm, these are terms which are just ridiculous and from all the step-parents I have seen just not true.

It’s put into the mind set (like most things are) from the media with films and TV shows where they show the step-parent trying steal the affection from the child or being the bad abusive, cold hearted parent who resents the child being there.

The truth is much different, the truth is a parent who truly NEVER feels 100% accepted by all, the grandparents, the child, schools and teachers never really accept them and generally most of the population.

It’s difficult for anyone to become a step-parent as you don’t just fall in love with your partner YOU HAVE TO fall in love with the child no exceptions, even if they are a bit of a nightmare.

There is an expectation that you will just fall in love with the child immediately, and they you but that’s not true either, that is a relationship which both step-parent and child work at.

In the case of my partner who was already a step-parent to my daughter for five years, before my ex-partner and daughters biological mother passed away and she came to live with us.

This is a start of a whole new load of troubles with people looking in and being all like “you will never replace her real mother” or “I hope she doesn’t think she will make her forget her real mother” WE BLOODY KNOW THIS!!!

She carried on doing an amazing job being there for my daughter , in fact scrap that out OUR daughter like she already had been doing for years prior, the only difference being that instead of weekends and holidays she was staying permanently.

This is them way back in 2011
asfsr (195)

They have a hard job and people need to stop making it even harder for them.

I will forever be grateful for the relationship she has with our daughter and I will forever be grateful for my own step-dad who IS my kids grandfather and to all you other step-parents who step up through all the crap you get thrown at you THANK YOU……

‘How dare you’ Step-Parents

Here is your role should you choose to accept it, the one you will never be good enough at or be a success,
You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t, how you really feel you’ll need to repress,
You’re going to be tested now by everyone you know, relatives, neighbors, friends and the child,
You’ve accepted the role of a step-parent you see, so sit down and strap in because it’s about to get wild,

Here is your ready-made child, who you will shower with happiness and give your heart,
You will be there for them always no questions asked, but some think of their life you should not be apart,
They’re NOT your blood, they’re NOT your DNA and they didn’t come from your womb,
How dare you teach that child right and wrong, how dare you try and help them bloom,

How dare you try and replace, a parent who isn’t there,
How dare you step up to the plate, and wipe away that child’s tear,
How dare you give that child your all, right up until your last breath,
Even though their real parent isn’t here, through being forced to, choice or death,

How dare you try to be a role model, teaching them right from wrong,
How dare you accept them into your life, making sure they know they belong,
How dare you rise up above everyone, when they are trying to destroy your name,
Even though you accept that no matter what, you will always be given the blame,

It winds me up and gets me down, the misconceptions out there for these people,
So what they weren’t there at the beginning, they still deserve to be treated as equal,
There needs to be some recognition, to the impossible job they accept,
I’ve seen one frustrated and exhausted, I sat with her as she just wept

It’s a role they accept for many a reason, but one that overall stands above,
The reason they accept becoming a step-parent is for that one special word, called love,
The last two lines now and I want to say, you step-parents to me are amazing,
Outstanding humans, who deserve more than you get, I will personally never stop praising.

Take it easy

Alex/Muldwych

Breaking, Break and Broke (poem)

Not really sure if i actually like this poem yet but the whole point of this site was to post my writing work good or bad and post updates when i can so what the hell.

I actually wrote it a week or so ago but figure instead of deleting it i will post and then instead of disappearing it will just be resigned to my website archives.

Aberdeen, the BROKEN City.

This image here was the first picture i ever got on ‘Flickr Explore’, i don’t use Flickr any more but i was chuffed at the time.

Explore is Flickr’s way of showcasing the most interesting photos within a given point in time, usually over a 24 hour period.

iphoneography (353)

Breaking, Break and Broke.

We’re BREAKING, BREAKING constantly, we’re BREAKING all the time,
Some go as far as BREAKING the law, do time for committing the crime,
Perhaps the crime committed was a BREAK, a BREAK in of someone’s abode,
Scumbag idiots do it all the time, it’s not focused to one post code,

BREAKING the bank when we know that we shouldn’t, just to get a treat,
It happens to most at some point you know, every woman and man on the street,
Some people BREAK dance showing their moves, if it was me I would BREAK my neck,
I’d need something there to BREAK my fall, no thanks I’ll take a rain check,

There’s people BREAKING up all the time, after a day, a month or years,
Sometimes leaving BROKEN hearts, and faces full of tears,
So many BREAK’s, all different kinds, around us every day,
Some are small, some are big and some just fade away,

Some people BREAK away, from things that were holding them down,
From as easy as ending a phone call, to as harsh as having to leave town,
Trying to make the BREAK through, move on from what has come before,
BREAKING out on their own, cutting the stress, the hardest part was walking out the door,

Meeting new people and BREAKING the ice, it’s not easy with social anxiety,
I only named one social disorder here, but if you look there’s quite a variety
Tense, dizzy, upset are you shaking? Does it feel like you’re going to drown?
If you’re feeling exhausted, tense and panicky, you might be having a BREAK down,

BREAK in, BREAK dance, BREAK beat, and BREAK up, hundreds of types of BREAK’s,
BREAK out, BREAK the mould or having a BREAK down, some come with higher stakes,
It’s only a word, its more than a word, it depends on how you look at it,
It’s my BREAK now, time for me to go, I’m out, I’m gone, I’ve split.

As always, thanks for reading if you did 🙂

 

Take it easy

Alex/Muldwych

Sabrina (poem)

When you try to let yourself be vulnerable, open in a sense that you are not really used to, its really hard to not sound contrived.

I really wanted to write this for my partner as I have actually hand written one before on paper for her years ago which got lost in a house move, I know she has remained upset at it.

When I met my partner it was at a time when I was not looking for a relationship, I wasn’t even looking for female companionship but sometimes these things just come up and smash you in the face.

I had come out a long relationship which I had been in since I was young, at the time I swore that I was never getting in a relationship again, the night we met I was out with my cousin for a “boys night out” and then I see the most beautiful person I have ever met in my life who was about to change my whole existence.

Me and my lovely 😉
as (176)

Sabrina

Being totally honest , not holding back are the hardest words to write,
I am going to do that now though and tell the truth, about that life changing night,
Belmont Street in Aberdeen was the scene, Christmas Eve 2003,
Playing pool and winning (honestly), then came walking in the most beautiful girl I’d seen,

She looked like a young Shannon Doherty, who I had been in love with since I was ten,
This girl was younger, more attractive and real, I felt like a nervous teenager again,
Shuffling over across the bar with each drink, trying to think of what to say,
A life changing moment, MY life changing moment, was happening there that day,

No inspiration for my aspirations, didn’t have a clue in life what I wanted to do,
Within months of us getting to together that changed, it seems what I needed was you,
The salt to my pepper, fish to my chips, oh god I’m starting to sound cheesy,
Letting the love flow and saying how it is but I don’t mean for you to get uneasy,

I will apologise now for if it gets really lame, just trying to tell you how I feel,
Over ten years now that we’ve been together, for the future I’m trying to seal the deal,
I knew I loved you before we even spoke, as the night went on I only fell deeper,
Head over heels within an hour, the real deal, the one, the keeper,

I really can’t fathom where in life I would be, without my soul mate by my side,
Backing everything I do, encouraging every idea, never ever any divide,
Over ten years, OVER A DECADE, like any couple we’ve had rough patches,
I am fully convinced that nowhere on earth you will ever find any better matches,

Every time I see you It still feels like that Christmas Eve, I go back and revert to being a teen,
So many things I always want to do to you, I’ll let you know that not many are clean,
Three kids now ten years down the line, three kids and a beautiful misses,
We still manage to find little times for romance, we still steal plenty of cuddles and kisses,

It’s still only the beginning of our relationship, still ages to go till the end,
Growing old together until pensioners, partners, lovers and best friends,
Can’t wait until were retired and looking back, we’ll cry and laugh and smile,
I want to finish by saying THANK YOU, for making my whole life worthwhile X.

If I could have created a female like they did in weird science, my partner would have literally been the one that came out.

Ever since I watched the film ‘Heather’s’ I had been in love with Shannon Doherty and had posters of her all over my wall and was totally besotted, then in comes my Sabrina who looks like Shannon’s hotter little sister that happens to be a million times cooler.

So yeah, wasn’t looking, didn’t expect it, smash in the face and ten years later am still as head over heels as then and now we have three kids and an amazing life together.

Better than Shannon ever could have gave me 😉

Take it easy

Alex/Muldwych

 

Dear Self (poem)

I have another wee poem to share with you.

I wrote this one today whilst on my lunch at work and still a little unsure about it but what the hell.

When i write poetry and really anything as i go through the same process with comic books and short stories too i tend to just tear through it and then at the end make some little changes or tweaks.

Obviously with the comics and stories its just called ‘first draft’ and i go back for second draft but during the writing of the ‘first draft’ on any i don’t really ponder on anything too long.

Anyways i hope you enjoy this, its a letter to myself, from me on my deathbed.

This be me!

Telling me to get a grip.as (241)

Dear Self,

This is a letter from your deathbed you,
I want to tell you things that back then I wish you knew,
If you held this wisdom perhaps you could have grew,
You see life is meant for living man, it’s not just about getting through,

Stop stressing, worrying and focusing on what you don’t want to take place,
Stand up, take a deep breath and look at the world you need to embrace,
You need to STOP BEING UNGRATEFUL; you have a beautiful family at home,
They love you, think the WORLD of you, no need to get up in the morning and groan,

Moaning, groaning, worrying too much, all about things that make you scared,
Stop being jealous of others, I mean to no one’s life do you need to compare,
Your overlooking the beauty of small moments, taking your life for granted,
Spend time with the ones you love and you’ll see that it’s really quite enchanted,

I know you’ve got problems and think too much, it’s you that’s writing this letter,
Giving yourself some life lessons, so you can live your life a whole lot better,
Telling you to stop following the path of least resistance, berating yourself for old mistakes,
Letting others bring you down to their level, for all this shit just put on the brakes,

NO MORE holding grudges, feeling down or pretending to be someone you’re not,
Time to stop speaking to the wrong people, it’s time now to cut out the rot,
It’s time to start loving yourself again, to relax, have fun and enjoy,
You see your getting on a bit now self, you will soon be getting called “Old Boy”,

Start living in the present moment, you’re life you don’t want to miss,
Change your bad habits; look after yourself as so far you’ve been quite remiss,
Go home each night, kiss your kids and wife and remember these changes to do,
I hope it all works out from now on, all the best, yours faithfully, You.

take it easy

Alex/Muldwych

My Boy Sonny (poem)

Although I will get to telling you about my writing projects I thought I would share a poem I wrote earlier on in the week for my middle child Sonny.

I have three kids, the eldest is a girl and two youngest are boys but Sonny is a special wee boy who happens to be on the Autistic spectrum and it’s been hard, it’s been real hard sometimes having a child on the spectrum.

Being a parent is hard enough, being a parent of more than one is even harder and then you get to being a parent of a child with Autism and it is the hardest.

Anyway I am not here to moan, preach or compare lives with anyone, just to post a poem 🙂

It’s obviously the first poem I have posted and I will post more but next I will tell you about the comic book projects I am working on and the stories too.

Sonny at the beach
Processed with VSCOcam with t1 preset

My boy Sonny

Life is hard enough as it is, for normal people like me and you,
Growing up and getting a job, just trying to make it through,
And if you’re lucky just like me, to also have kids and a wife,
People assume they know what it’s like, to live in your everyday life,

It’s not like that for the misses and me, we’re part of a special pack,
We’re different from other families, it’s not just white and black,
Going each day to make it through, without trying to be labelled,
It never happens though you see, because my son he is disabled,

No physical impairments to give it away, nor does he have a wheelchair,
But when he is out being really loud, it’s easy to see it’s there,
It’s NOT a badly behaved kid you see, it’s really not that simplistic,
What you see is my middle child, an amazing boy who happens to be autistic,

I love my three kids just the same, there’s no favouritism in any way,
We watch television go to the park, together we all play,
Having an autistic child can be hard, whether he’s your son or he’s your brother,
Frustrating and amazing at the same time, like him there is no other,

It annoys me when I read these parents, who claim they wouldn’t take it away,
It’s what defines him and who he is, along with other nonsense they say,
I would get rid of that bastard disability, I would do anything to make it so,
Just so he could live one day without it, my life I would even forgo,

For him to just do normal things, to see the world as it really is,
I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like, in that autistic world of his,
Anything is what I would give, really anything at all,
Just so he can see the world how it is, preferably for the long haul,

Or LET ME IN so I can share his world, understand what it’s like for him,
To see his colours, smell his smells, I would easily risk life or limb,
Join him in his odyssey, his epic adventure in what we call life,
Preferably with room for us all, his sister, brother, me and the wife,

It breaks my heart every day, knowing this will never be the case,
Knowing I won’t ever know what he thinks, when he is staring into space,
I’ve cried and screamed more times, than I honestly can remember,
Through frustration, guilt and blaming myself, January through to December,

With an autistic son it’s the little things, that bring happiness this dad,
The huge big smile and chuckling laughter, I am not going to focus on the sad,
A unique individual and a wonderful kid, extraordinary in every way,
Don’t get me wrong it’s still really hard, for his mum and me every day,

We never get any time for us, no one offers to babysit,
The problem is that everyone is scared, but no one will admit,
Yes he is hard work, yes he is different and yes he can make you cry,
But the tears are more from happiness now, why THE HELL doesn’t anyone try,

These last three lines I will try to explain, what autism is to me,
It’s that bastard disability that lives in my kid, which I dream every night would flee,
My beautiful boy that is being robbed, of leading a normal life,
He can count on one thing though every day, love from his sister, brother, me and the wife.

Hope you enjoyed it and it was ok as I am always really self-critical of my writing and this website is actually quite a big step but I thought what the hell, let’s put some stuff out there and get feedback whether good or bad.

Take it easy

Alex/Muldwych