I have been really busy lately with the comic book writing side of things but I did write this poem here called ‘How dare you’ Step-Parents.
I know a lot about step-parents in that I have a step-dad myself, my brother is a step-parent to his eldest daughter and my partner Sabrina who I wrote another poem for HERE is a step parent to my eldest and a damn good one at that.
There are many myths about step-parents like the ‘The Wicked Stepmother’ or ‘The Abusive Stepfather’ which just aren’t the norm, these are terms which are just ridiculous and from all the step-parents I have seen just not true.
It’s put into the mind set (like most things are) from the media with films and TV shows where they show the step-parent trying steal the affection from the child or being the bad abusive, cold hearted parent who resents the child being there.
The truth is much different, the truth is a parent who truly NEVER feels 100% accepted by all, the grandparents, the child, schools and teachers never really accept them and generally most of the population.
It’s difficult for anyone to become a step-parent as you don’t just fall in love with your partner YOU HAVE TO fall in love with the child no exceptions, even if they are a bit of a nightmare.
There is an expectation that you will just fall in love with the child immediately, and they you but that’s not true either, that is a relationship which both step-parent and child work at.
In the case of my partner who was already a step-parent to my daughter for five years, before my ex-partner and daughters biological mother passed away and she came to live with us.
This is a start of a whole new load of troubles with people looking in and being all like “you will never replace her real mother” or “I hope she doesn’t think she will make her forget her real mother” WE BLOODY KNOW THIS!!!
She carried on doing an amazing job being there for my daughter , in fact scrap that out OUR daughter like she already had been doing for years prior, the only difference being that instead of weekends and holidays she was staying permanently.
They have a hard job and people need to stop making it even harder for them.
I will forever be grateful for the relationship she has with our daughter and I will forever be grateful for my own step-dad who IS my kids grandfather and to all you other step-parents who step up through all the crap you get thrown at you THANK YOU……
‘How dare you’ Step-Parents
Here is your role should you choose to accept it, the one you will never be good enough at or be a success,
You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t, how you really feel you’ll need to repress,
You’re going to be tested now by everyone you know, relatives, neighbors, friends and the child,
You’ve accepted the role of a step-parent you see, so sit down and strap in because it’s about to get wild,
Here is your ready-made child, who you will shower with happiness and give your heart,
You will be there for them always no questions asked, but some think of their life you should not be apart,
They’re NOT your blood, they’re NOT your DNA and they didn’t come from your womb,
How dare you teach that child right and wrong, how dare you try and help them bloom,
How dare you try and replace, a parent who isn’t there,
How dare you step up to the plate, and wipe away that child’s tear,
How dare you give that child your all, right up until your last breath,
Even though their real parent isn’t here, through being forced to, choice or death,
How dare you try to be a role model, teaching them right from wrong,
How dare you accept them into your life, making sure they know they belong,
How dare you rise up above everyone, when they are trying to destroy your name,
Even though you accept that no matter what, you will always be given the blame,
It winds me up and gets me down, the misconceptions out there for these people,
So what they weren’t there at the beginning, they still deserve to be treated as equal,
There needs to be some recognition, to the impossible job they accept,
I’ve seen one frustrated and exhausted, I sat with her as she just wept
It’s a role they accept for many a reason, but one that overall stands above,
The reason they accept becoming a step-parent is for that one special word, called love,
The last two lines now and I want to say, you step-parents to me are amazing,
Outstanding humans, who deserve more than you get, I will personally never stop praising.
Take it easy