Month: August 2014

Sabrina (poem)

When you try to let yourself be vulnerable, open in a sense that you are not really used to, its really hard to not sound contrived.

I really wanted to write this for my partner as I have actually hand written one before on paper for her years ago which got lost in a house move, I know she has remained upset at it.

When I met my partner it was at a time when I was not looking for a relationship, I wasn’t even looking for female companionship but sometimes these things just come up and smash you in the face.

I had come out a long relationship which I had been in since I was young, at the time I swore that I was never getting in a relationship again, the night we met I was out with my cousin for a “boys night out” and then I see the most beautiful person I have ever met in my life who was about to change my whole existence.

Me and my lovely 😉
as (176)

Sabrina

Being totally honest , not holding back are the hardest words to write,
I am going to do that now though and tell the truth, about that life changing night,
Belmont Street in Aberdeen was the scene, Christmas Eve 2003,
Playing pool and winning (honestly), then came walking in the most beautiful girl I’d seen,

She looked like a young Shannon Doherty, who I had been in love with since I was ten,
This girl was younger, more attractive and real, I felt like a nervous teenager again,
Shuffling over across the bar with each drink, trying to think of what to say,
A life changing moment, MY life changing moment, was happening there that day,

No inspiration for my aspirations, didn’t have a clue in life what I wanted to do,
Within months of us getting to together that changed, it seems what I needed was you,
The salt to my pepper, fish to my chips, oh god I’m starting to sound cheesy,
Letting the love flow and saying how it is but I don’t mean for you to get uneasy,

I will apologise now for if it gets really lame, just trying to tell you how I feel,
Over ten years now that we’ve been together, for the future I’m trying to seal the deal,
I knew I loved you before we even spoke, as the night went on I only fell deeper,
Head over heels within an hour, the real deal, the one, the keeper,

I really can’t fathom where in life I would be, without my soul mate by my side,
Backing everything I do, encouraging every idea, never ever any divide,
Over ten years, OVER A DECADE, like any couple we’ve had rough patches,
I am fully convinced that nowhere on earth you will ever find any better matches,

Every time I see you It still feels like that Christmas Eve, I go back and revert to being a teen,
So many things I always want to do to you, I’ll let you know that not many are clean,
Three kids now ten years down the line, three kids and a beautiful misses,
We still manage to find little times for romance, we still steal plenty of cuddles and kisses,

It’s still only the beginning of our relationship, still ages to go till the end,
Growing old together until pensioners, partners, lovers and best friends,
Can’t wait until were retired and looking back, we’ll cry and laugh and smile,
I want to finish by saying THANK YOU, for making my whole life worthwhile X.

If I could have created a female like they did in weird science, my partner would have literally been the one that came out.

Ever since I watched the film ‘Heather’s’ I had been in love with Shannon Doherty and had posters of her all over my wall and was totally besotted, then in comes my Sabrina who looks like Shannon’s hotter little sister that happens to be a million times cooler.

So yeah, wasn’t looking, didn’t expect it, smash in the face and ten years later am still as head over heels as then and now we have three kids and an amazing life together.

Better than Shannon ever could have gave me 😉

Take it easy

Alex/Muldwych

 

My Daughters Writing (She’s 13)

Hello again,

I just wanted to share something that is not actually mine.

My daughter Freya who is only thirteen years old has been writing for ages and would love to be in the writing business when she grows up and finishes university.

She writes all the time and especially loves to write fan fiction at the moment, she is a HUGE anime fan and this fan fiction I am going to share was written two months ago.

She uploads them to her deviant art and such HERE!

I think she is brilliant.

This one is about L from Death Note and is:

Freya a couple of years ago.
1

Young Love

Running out the door in your red pyjama bottoms and black t-shirt, you through your hair up in a bobble and ran down the corridor. Snoozing your alarm was a huge mistake. Thankfully you got to French just in time for the teacher arriving and you sat down in the only available seat, next to L. This wasn’t abnormal as every class you had together, you sat together. You weren’t best friends or anything but he didn’t have any friends and neither did you so it only made sense for you two to sit together. You didn’t normally speak but you never felt unwanted or uncomfortable. Honestly, you had started to develop a bit of a crush on him. You know you shouldn’t have but when you spend the majority of your time with someone, you started to like them. Everyone else thought that the boy was really weird. He was 13 and already he had bags under his eyes and had developed a slouch. He also never brushed his hair, only ate sweets and sat all bundled together in a sort of crouch. You liked this about him, how he was different. He wasn’t pretending to be someone he wasn’t or trying to be ‘cool’, he was just being himself and you loved that about him. You found it really upsetting how he was bullied here. I mean, you were too but you didn’t let other people get to you. There was only 1 thing that could crack you but that was 1 thing more than him, 1 thing too much. You needed to be more like L, invincible.

Your class was learning about the names of science apparatus and weapons in you double French class which were two new subjects but you and L got by no problem. Did I mention, you and L are the two smartest people in your orphanage for gifted children.

Through the class, you noticed L looking at you then looking away when you caught his eye. In fact, he had been looking at you a lot recently. It was quite weird because L never showed any emotion or any interest in anything or anyone except his sweets and his work. You wanted to ask him about it but as soon as you opened your mouth, the bell rang. Typical. You both had double criminology together next so, as usual, you walked with him. Even when he was slouching he was taller than you. It made you feel safe and protected. It made you feel as if everyone else around you who was sneering just wasn’t there.

When you got to class, your teacher was standing at the front of the class with the words ‘paired cases’ written on the board. Great.
“As you can see, i have decided to give you an assignment to do in pairs. I want it to be worked on both during and outside of class time, and i want it finished for a fortnights time” Mr. Roger said, “you can also choose your partner”. At this, everyone in the class merged into two groups, boys and girls, where they started to decide who would go with who and by the looks of things, it was going to be a slow process. You and L remained where you were and just looked at each other.
“K, would you very much mind being my partner?” L asked you.
“I wouldn’t mind at all”.

It took a full five minutes for the rest of the class to select their partners while you and L just sat looking at the board. Or at least, you were looking at the board while L was staring at you. Once the class had settled down, Mr. Roger handed out all of the cases.
“The police had more serious things to deal with than these, they are just minor cases but they still need to be solved so take this seriously” he explained. The case that landed on you and L’s desk read ‘The animal meat case’. L rolled his eyes and you gave a small sigh. This was going to be easy. You opened the folder and found a single sheet of paper with all of the information inside.
“All we really need to do is wait at the restaurant on Saturday and then follow the meat truck to see where it takes us. Easy.” You explain while L nods his head.
“You have nice eyes” he said. Wow.
“Thanks” you say brightly while trying to angle your head to hide your blush.
L simply gives a small smile before getting a piece of paper and writing up a small summary of your plans for Saturday. In just 2 days you would be going into the city and spending the whole day with L. After that you were both excused to go to the computer room and get directions and more information about this restaurant. Time flew by and soon you were walking towards the lunch room.

You again spent the whole time with L and you actually had a conversation with him about when you were going to be detectives when you grow up. After lunch you decided to spend some time in your room before going to psychology class. On the way there, you bumped into some of the older boys from your year. They really didn’t like you and L and often teased and bullied you. J was the main boy in their little group. He was tall and intimidating
“Hey, L, got yourself a girlfriend?” they said. He mumbled a reply of something like ‘she’s not my girlfriend’ and tried to push past them while holding onto your arm but they would let you go.
“Hey, wait. L, some bro to bro advice. Leave her, we all know the only reason her parents left and got themselves killed is because they didn’t want her.” That was it. That was the thing. Your eyes widened a fraction before falling to the floor. You bowed your head and had tears in your eyes and started to sob. L looked round to see you in tears and he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Just leave us alone! What did we ever do to you, Jefferson?” L said before pushing past him and his friends, still holding your arm, and marched you into your room.

Your bully, J, was still rooted to the spot. He was used to people shouting back, in fact, he usually enjoyed seeing it, but L had never done anything like that before. And how did L know his name? He had never told anyone his name before. Ever.

In your room, L was sitting next to you on your bed while you wept on his shoulder. L was stroking your hair. After about 5 minutes, you had stopped sobbing and looked up to L. “Thank you, for sticking up for me and comforting me” you said. L said nothing but gave you a small smile that you happily returned. The two of you spoke for quite a while after that, not about books or dead animals or Japanese classes but about yourselves. Your past, present and future. Before long the bell rang for classes to start and like usual, you and L walked together. Nothing was different except if you looked close enough, you could tell that the two of you were holding hands.

Take it easy

Alex/Muldwych

Dear Self (poem)

I have another wee poem to share with you.

I wrote this one today whilst on my lunch at work and still a little unsure about it but what the hell.

When i write poetry and really anything as i go through the same process with comic books and short stories too i tend to just tear through it and then at the end make some little changes or tweaks.

Obviously with the comics and stories its just called ‘first draft’ and i go back for second draft but during the writing of the ‘first draft’ on any i don’t really ponder on anything too long.

Anyways i hope you enjoy this, its a letter to myself, from me on my deathbed.

This be me!

Telling me to get a grip.as (241)

Dear Self,

This is a letter from your deathbed you,
I want to tell you things that back then I wish you knew,
If you held this wisdom perhaps you could have grew,
You see life is meant for living man, it’s not just about getting through,

Stop stressing, worrying and focusing on what you don’t want to take place,
Stand up, take a deep breath and look at the world you need to embrace,
You need to STOP BEING UNGRATEFUL; you have a beautiful family at home,
They love you, think the WORLD of you, no need to get up in the morning and groan,

Moaning, groaning, worrying too much, all about things that make you scared,
Stop being jealous of others, I mean to no one’s life do you need to compare,
Your overlooking the beauty of small moments, taking your life for granted,
Spend time with the ones you love and you’ll see that it’s really quite enchanted,

I know you’ve got problems and think too much, it’s you that’s writing this letter,
Giving yourself some life lessons, so you can live your life a whole lot better,
Telling you to stop following the path of least resistance, berating yourself for old mistakes,
Letting others bring you down to their level, for all this shit just put on the brakes,

NO MORE holding grudges, feeling down or pretending to be someone you’re not,
Time to stop speaking to the wrong people, it’s time now to cut out the rot,
It’s time to start loving yourself again, to relax, have fun and enjoy,
You see your getting on a bit now self, you will soon be getting called “Old Boy”,

Start living in the present moment, you’re life you don’t want to miss,
Change your bad habits; look after yourself as so far you’ve been quite remiss,
Go home each night, kiss your kids and wife and remember these changes to do,
I hope it all works out from now on, all the best, yours faithfully, You.

take it easy

Alex/Muldwych

My Boy Sonny (poem)

Although I will get to telling you about my writing projects I thought I would share a poem I wrote earlier on in the week for my middle child Sonny.

I have three kids, the eldest is a girl and two youngest are boys but Sonny is a special wee boy who happens to be on the Autistic spectrum and it’s been hard, it’s been real hard sometimes having a child on the spectrum.

Being a parent is hard enough, being a parent of more than one is even harder and then you get to being a parent of a child with Autism and it is the hardest.

Anyway I am not here to moan, preach or compare lives with anyone, just to post a poem 🙂

It’s obviously the first poem I have posted and I will post more but next I will tell you about the comic book projects I am working on and the stories too.

Sonny at the beach
Processed with VSCOcam with t1 preset

My boy Sonny

Life is hard enough as it is, for normal people like me and you,
Growing up and getting a job, just trying to make it through,
And if you’re lucky just like me, to also have kids and a wife,
People assume they know what it’s like, to live in your everyday life,

It’s not like that for the misses and me, we’re part of a special pack,
We’re different from other families, it’s not just white and black,
Going each day to make it through, without trying to be labelled,
It never happens though you see, because my son he is disabled,

No physical impairments to give it away, nor does he have a wheelchair,
But when he is out being really loud, it’s easy to see it’s there,
It’s NOT a badly behaved kid you see, it’s really not that simplistic,
What you see is my middle child, an amazing boy who happens to be autistic,

I love my three kids just the same, there’s no favouritism in any way,
We watch television go to the park, together we all play,
Having an autistic child can be hard, whether he’s your son or he’s your brother,
Frustrating and amazing at the same time, like him there is no other,

It annoys me when I read these parents, who claim they wouldn’t take it away,
It’s what defines him and who he is, along with other nonsense they say,
I would get rid of that bastard disability, I would do anything to make it so,
Just so he could live one day without it, my life I would even forgo,

For him to just do normal things, to see the world as it really is,
I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like, in that autistic world of his,
Anything is what I would give, really anything at all,
Just so he can see the world how it is, preferably for the long haul,

Or LET ME IN so I can share his world, understand what it’s like for him,
To see his colours, smell his smells, I would easily risk life or limb,
Join him in his odyssey, his epic adventure in what we call life,
Preferably with room for us all, his sister, brother, me and the wife,

It breaks my heart every day, knowing this will never be the case,
Knowing I won’t ever know what he thinks, when he is staring into space,
I’ve cried and screamed more times, than I honestly can remember,
Through frustration, guilt and blaming myself, January through to December,

With an autistic son it’s the little things, that bring happiness this dad,
The huge big smile and chuckling laughter, I am not going to focus on the sad,
A unique individual and a wonderful kid, extraordinary in every way,
Don’t get me wrong it’s still really hard, for his mum and me every day,

We never get any time for us, no one offers to babysit,
The problem is that everyone is scared, but no one will admit,
Yes he is hard work, yes he is different and yes he can make you cry,
But the tears are more from happiness now, why THE HELL doesn’t anyone try,

These last three lines I will try to explain, what autism is to me,
It’s that bastard disability that lives in my kid, which I dream every night would flee,
My beautiful boy that is being robbed, of leading a normal life,
He can count on one thing though every day, love from his sister, brother, me and the wife.

Hope you enjoyed it and it was ok as I am always really self-critical of my writing and this website is actually quite a big step but I thought what the hell, let’s put some stuff out there and get feedback whether good or bad.

Take it easy

Alex/Muldwych